


How New Moon Should Have ended

by orphan_account



Category: Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon Rewrite, F/M, Fix-It
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-18
Updated: 2019-09-20
Packaged: 2020-10-20 23:51:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,935
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20684015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Basically I’m taking this inspiration and running with it until i get bored.This is a retelling so there will be canon woven in (which will be in bold), especially while I’m still figuring out where I want to take the story. This starts the night they get back from Italy





	1. Goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> The Twilight Saga and it’s characters are owned by Stephanie Myer, this is a work of fanfiction.
> 
> also sorry the formatting is so fucky

** "I knew it," I sobbed. "I knew I was dreaming."**

** "You're impossible," he said, and he laughed once, a hard laugh, frustrated. "How can I put this so that you'll believe me? You're not asleep, and you're not dead. I'm here, and I love you. I have always loved you, and I will always love you. I was thinking of you, seeing your face in my mind, every second that I was away. When I told you that I didn't want you, it was the very blackest kind of blasphemy."**

** I shook my head while the tears continued to ooze from the corners of my eyes.**

** "You don't believe me, do you?" he whispered, his face paler than his usual pale. I could see that even in the dim light. "Why can you believe the lie, but not the truth?"**

** "It never made sense for you to love me," I explained, my voice breaking twice. "I always knew that.”**

** "I'll prove you're awake," he promised.**

** He caught my face securely between his iron hands, ignoring my struggles when I tried to turn my head away.**

** “Please don’t.” I whispered**

** He stopped, his lips just half an inch from mine.**

** "Why not?" he demanded. His breath blew into my face, making my head whirl.**

** "When I wake up" He opened his mouth to protest, so I revised "Okay, forget that one. When you leave again, it's going to be hard enough without this, too."**

** He pulled back an inch, to stare at my face.**

** "Yesterday, when I would touch you, you were so hesitant, so careful, and yet still the same. I need to know why. Is it because I'm too late? Because I've hurt you too much? Because you have moved on, as I meant for you to? That would be quite fair. I won't contest your decision. So don't try to spare my feelings, please just tell me now whether or not you can still love me, after everything I've done to you. Can you?" he whispered.**

I looked down and considered the last six months in my mind, the raw hole in my chest that had healed to a dull ache. How that ache had slowly started to heal. Jacob. I peeked up from under my lashes to Edward. He seemed to be trying to pretend that waiting for an answer wasn’t killing him.

I sighed. I knew this was going to hurt him.

** “The Voultri, Victoria… They were nothing compared to you leaving me.”** I admitted. He had hurt me. So much it had felt like I might shatter into pieces.

He bowed his head, face tight, so I rushed on. “I’ll always love you, Edward.” I grabbed his hand, pleading for him to not take my words too harshly. **"Lots of pieces of me went missing, when you left. I haven't been able to really breathe in so long." I filled my lungs, luxuriating in the sensation.** Now that this chapter of my life had some closure, I could breathe. **"And my heart. That was definitely lost."**

Edward looked as though he wished he could cry. Or maybe break something.

“I’m healing.” I reassured him.”Pieces of me are coming back. I can… laugh again, I’m spending time with my friends again.” I hadn’t even woken up screaming recently.

“I haven’t moved on.” I whispered. “But I think I could have. If… If you had stayed away.” My voice cracked. “I’ll always love you, but I need some time to heal.”

Edward’s face fell, and he pulled his hand out of mine, but he nodded. “I understand. The way I left was inexcusable, I’m sorry I hurt you so terribly.” He started to slide away.

“Please don’t leave!” I cried out. I felt the dull ache in my chest return. It wasn’t nearly as bad as it had once been, though. “Can I just say a few more things?” I whispered.

He paused, an expression I couldn’t read flitting across his face. Then he was composed, and sitting again. 

“I do love you.” I told him fiercely. “I want you to be safe, and happy. Maybe our future wasn't us together, maybe we'll get back together after some time, but we can still be part of a family.”

I already felt like I was a part of his family. “I think you can heal too. Move on, too.”

Pain crossed his face. “Bella,” He stroked one hand across my cheek. I flushed. “I will never stop loving you. But if you don’t want to be together, I think… I need to go away for a while.”

Panic seized in my throat and bubbled in my stomach. I could imagine him racing right back to Italy.

The horror must have been evident on my face, because Edward laughed quietly. “You don’t have to worry about me, Bella. If you say that you love me, then that’s,” He seemed to be grasping for the right word. “Enough. I won’t do anything stupid, but I need some space.”

I guessed that was pretty normal for any breakup. 

“I think I’ll go back up to Denali for a while. The others….”

My head spun, and my heart raced. I didn’t want them to go.

“...Don’t have to leave. I’ll check in, and you know Alice will be keeping an eye on me.”

I still didn’t like the idea of him going away, and I wrinkled my nose over it. But it seemed like he had every intention of coming back someday. And I could live with that, if I knew he was okay.

“I know that I’ve caused a lot of trouble in the last couple days,” Edward paused before continuing. “But can I have one more selfish moment this evening?”

“That depends on what you want to do.”

Edward cupped my cheek with his cold hand and leaned in, intent clear. I knew he’d understand if I turned down his request.

I knew what this was.

A goodbye kiss. My heart thumped hard, hard enough to hurt and certainly hard enough for Edward to hear.

I closed my eyes, and leaned in. His lips were cold and unyielding, but I could tell he was taking care to be gentle with me. A tear rolled down my cheek.

He pulled away too soon. He wiped my cheeks, and tucked my hair behind my ears. I blinked up at him, dazed, as he stood.

Edward kissed my forehead, and smiled my crooked smile. “Goodbye, Isabella Swan.” He said softly, and disappeared out of my window and into the darkness before I could say anything back.

My chest ached as more tears rolled down my cheeks. Sobs wracked my body. I mourned the loss of my first love. It turned to hysterics, as I reflected on what had happened in Volterra.

What seemed ages later, exhausted, I crawled into bed. I thought long and hard about the last year. My mind raced despite how tired I felt.

I fell asleep just as the sun began to rise.

I knew almost immediately that I was dreaming. This was a classic one. The same dream I had the first time Edward left.

I was running - too slow - after him in the woods. He couldn’t hear when I called out, and panic began to rise in me as he disappeared ahead. I ran around the forest, getting lost as it got darker and darker. I was exhausted, and stumbling over roots and my own feet. Then I did stumble and fall. When I righted myself, I was staring at a reddish brown wolf, who was sitting patiently in front of me as if he had been here the whole time. My panic seemed to dissipate as I held eyes with the wolf. I reached out to touch the soft looking fur, and then woke up.

The next morning, I found a note in beautiful script on the dashboard of my truck.

Bella,

I wanted to leave on better ground this time. I know you’ll worry. Please try not to. You can call me any time you’d like.

I’d like to give you a going away present. All of your pictures, the CD’s, everything I took when I left… Of course you can have them back.

Your things never left. They’re under the floorboards in your room.

I’m sorry it has to be this way.

I’ll always love you.


	2. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Twilight Saga, and all it's characters belong to Stephanie Myer.

** Almost everything was back to normal. The good, pre-zombie normal, in less time than I would have believed possible. The hospital welcomed Carlisle back with eager arms, not even bothering to conceal their delight that Esme had found life in L.A. so little to her liking. Thanks to the Calculus test I'd missed while abroad, Alice was in better shape to graduate than I was at the moment. ** Edward’s cover for leaving was an early acceptance to a college in Alaska. ** Thanks to my procrastination, and other concerns, I might end up at Peninsula Community College next year.**

** Charlie was not happy with me. In fact, I was grounded. I took the punishment with little complaint, because I knew I deserved it for running off like that.**

** I wasn't at liberty to go to La Push, and Jacob wasn't coming to see me. He wouldn't even answer my phone calls.**

I didn’t really blame him. I flinched every time I remembered the pain on his face when I had run off to save Edward. 

No, I definitely didn't blame Jake for not wanting to talk to me, but I missed him anyway.

** Weeks passed, and Jacob still wouldn't answer my calls. It started to become a constant worry. Like a dripping faucet in the back of my head that I couldn't shut off or ignore. **

** Drip, drip, drip. Jacob, Jacob, Jacob.**

I didn't have many distractions, with Edward gone too. We talked on the phone sometimes, but not often. My chest ached twice as bad when I thought about how much I missed them both. So I tried not to think about it a lot.

** Eventually, Charlie ungrounded me.**

I would have gone straight to La Push if I thought he wouldn’t slam the door in my face.

Instead, I spent nights at the Cullen’s, grateful to be out of my house. I loved Charlie, but after being grounded, I was glad to be out.

When Alice wasn’t playing dress up with me, I liked to help Esme garden. Her warm and maternal instincts really helped when I was hurting; plus she never made me talk about it unless I wanted to.

Shockingly, I had grown closer to Rosalie after mentioning my time spent in Jacob’s garage. Sometimes, she'd invite me to work with her; mostly that meant passing her a wrench once in a while. We weren't friends by any means, she doesn't seem to hate me anymore. Emmett's usually there with us, and he always kept things light.

Jasper taught me to play chess. Alice helped me cheat by sitting behind her mate, and indicating what pieces I should move with a shake of her head.

Carlisle and I spent hours talking about books. Starting with my favorites, Pride & Prejudice, and Wuthering Heights, but quickly we moved on to anything and everything. He even let me borrow rare and expensive books from his collection. 

Every day, the hole in my chest healed a little bit. The Cullens truly accepted me as a family member, even though I wasn't with Edward anymore.

There was the impending problem of the Volturi, coming back to check on my mortality, but that would be dealt with after graduation.

Carlisle had been willing, as well as Alice. Edward was still opposed - though he admitted that his vote counted less now - and so was Rosalie. But ultimately it was my decision. 

It was weighing on me heavily. I wished I could talk to Jacob about it.

Graduation was drawing closer, one more week had flown by. Friday after school, I stopped at home only long enough to gather some things, then headed to the Cullen's for the weekend.

Alice had music twinkling over the speakers in the living room, where Jasper and Carlisle were playing chess. Alice, Esme, and Rosalie were painting each other’s toenails, and Emmett had been trying different human foods to amuse me.

I had just gotten Emmett to choke down a peanut butter and tuna sandwich when his cheerful grin and grossed out reaction was cut off by someone knocking on the door.

No one seemed to be expecting someone, and they all seemed hesitant to answer. Rosalie looked like she smelled something bad.

Of course it was Carlisle who gracefully stood and flitted to the door, opening it with a friendly, but curious smile.

Jacob Black was standing there, jaw tight. He focused on Carlisle, looking determined to be civil.

“Jake?” I whispered, staring at the tall boy with wide eyes. It was hard to see my friend in the uncomfortable lines of his face. His head whipped around to face me, the brief flash of pain over his features made it clear that he hadn't been expecting to see me.

I jumped up and stomped over to Jacob, not even having made my mind up as to whether I was going to punch him or throw my arms around him.

“Why haven’t you been answering my calls?” I demanded, and Carlisle took a small step back.

“I…” Jacob ground his teeth. “I thought it would be easier for you and _him _if we weren't talking.”

“Aw, Jake!” I groaned. “We… aren’t even together anymore. Which, you’d know if you had answered my calls!” I didn’t want to talk about it anymore. I wanted things to be light and easy, like things are supposed to be with Jacob.

“Oh.” Was all Jacob could manage. It seemed like he was trying to settle on which reaction he should use. Caught between joy that Edward was gone, and trying to be a sympathetic friend.

“I’m sorry, Bella.” Was what he finally landed on, and decidedly took a step into enemy territory to pull me into a bear hug.

“Can’t… breathe… Jake!” I gasped. Carlisle cleared his throat nervously. I was suddenly aware of the others again, when Jacob let go of me.

Jasper, Emmett, and Rosalie had all left the room. Esme was hovering in the kitchen doorway, Alice was sitting with her nose wrinkled but otherwise unmoving, and Carlisle still had his hand on the doorknob. It wouldn't take a genius to tell the vampires weren't comfortable with a werewolf invading their home.

“Um, Jake, why are you here?” I asked. He clearly hadn't been looking for _ me, _ and it might be a good idea to get him out of here _ . _

** “**I actually came to talk to Carlisle **.” **He said, and rubbed the back of his neck, suddenly sheepish.

It dawned on me. “You’re here for Sam.” I accused. My resentment towards the man had faded over time, but I hated him using Jacob like a pawn.

“Kind of, yeah.” He admitted.

“The point, Jacob?” Carlisle said kindly.

He tensed slightly, but kept his voice civil. Practiced. **“I came to remind you of a few key points of the treaty.”**

“We remember it well.**”** Carlisle said, at the same time that I said, **“What key points?”**

** "The treaty is quite specific.” Jake’s looking at me now, “If any of them bite a human, the truce is over. ** ** _Bite_ ** **, not kill," he emphasized. **

** “That’s none of your business!” I interrupted.**

He stepped back, a flash of hurt, then anger crossed his face. He clenched his fists, and every vampire in the room moved closer to me. He closed his eyes and seemed to count to ten. Back to his practiced civility.

“Fine. It’s none of my business.” He muttered. I didn't know what he was really thinking, but I knew it wasn’t nice.

“Is that all?”

He turned back to Carlisle. **“One more thing. The redheaded blood-” He corrected himself, “Vampire- hasn’t been on our lands. Looks like she bailed.”**

Carlisle nodded. **“**You don't have to worry about her anymore. If she comes back, we can take it from here, Jacob."

** “She killed on our territory! She’s ours!” **It seemed like he couldn't stop the territorial outburst.

“Perhaps we can find a way to work together, then. After all, it is our fault that she's here at all.” Jake looked like he was about to choke.

“He’d have to ask Sam.” I muttered, but immediately felt bad about it. He glared at me but didn’t - couldn't - deny it.

“Well, consider it.” Carlisle said smoothly. “We should _ all _keep an eye out for Victoria.”

“Fine.” Jacob managed to grumble and turned on his heel to leave.

** “Jake, wait!”** I called, stepping closer to him despite how nervous it seemed to make everyone else. I knew he wouldn’t hurt me, not matter how frustrated he was. “ **You promised. Still friends, right?”**

He looked at me, pointedly ignoring the others. I saw a flash of _ my _smile under his uncomfortable mask, for just a second. It didn't quite meet his eyes. “I promised, didn’t I?”

"The radio silence wasn't exactly reassuring." I muttered childishly.

“Call me, okay? I’ll answer next time.”

“Promise.” I demanded.

Jacob beamed at me, for real this time. He was sunshine even at night. He linked his pinkie with mine. “Promise.” He confirmed, before running back off into the woods. Back to report to Sam.

I sighed, and Carlisle closed the door. Friendly or not, things were still complicated with Jacob.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jacob deserved much better treatment than he got in Eclipse and there's no way in hell I'm not gonna fix that right tf up but since im reworking canon it'll take a bit
> 
> also, this isn't beta read, every chapter will probably be updated a couple times to fix errors


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